Katie Ryder with her grandmother Lona Kewley
We would like to hear from both experienced and expecting parents about the wonderful support they have received from friends, family, and health care professionals. We spend a great deal of time helping parents cope with negative or stinging comments, mainly because we do not have built-in coping mechanisms for those unexpected events. Sometimes when in the stress of pregnancy post-diagnosis, a negative comment can send us reeling, and may actually drown out the many positive comments we hear.
However, there are extraordinary people out there. People who rise to the occasion and give a piece of themselves to give genuine, loving support. Focusing on their words and their actions, their support can help build our confidence and reinforce the knowledge that the world is a welcoming place for our children.
Sometimes that support comes from friends and loved ones who dive in to learn more about Down syndrome and the available resources so that they understand our children a little better and how to help them achieve their potential. Other times that support comes in the form of friends visiting the hospital and bringing blankets, stuffed animals, and candy to the Newborn Intensive Care Unit. That support can also include comments that welcome our children into the world, like the nurse who says “Congratulations! You’re baby is precious,” or comments that shape our understanding about disability, like a friend who shares, “My cousin has Down syndrome, and she’s an important part of our family. We love her.”
Please share in our comments the words, actions, or attitudes of those around you who gave the best of themselves and in turn helped you cope or look forward to a bright future. If you are on Facebook, you might also want to post your comment to your Facebook status and link to this blog post. Or post a thank you (sample linked below) in your Facebook status.
Booklet for Friends and Relatives: HERE
Sample thank you letter to the person you appreciate: HERE
(Note: We recognize that some things that bring comfort to some people may not help others because of the diversity of the personalities and beliefs of our expectant parents. For general guidelines, see our Relatives booklet linked above. Supporters should tailor their comments and support to match what they know about the personalities of the expectant parents.)